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Ryan Barrington Cox

Ryan makes things in Asheville, NC.

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When I wrote a post called “The Art of Reaction”, my wife said she’d rather the post be called “The Art of Response”. Well, what is the difference between reacting and responding?

I looked up definitions of the words, response and reaction. Each word uses the another to define itself. There is certainly some overlap between their meanings. There are differences too.


###Reaction

Reactions are active. It’s right there in the word: Action! Reacting is doing something, moving something, getting kinetic. A chemical reaction goes “Blammo!”

Reactions are more aggressive than responses.

###Response

Responsibility is the ability to respond. There’s potential and intent within responsibility. I’m able to respond. I choose my path.

Responses are more internal, empathetic, and philosophical than reactions.

Responses are more evolved.


The difference between reacting and responding is highlighted most when things go off the rails. Raising my voice or hurling a glass against the wall is reacting. Taking a breath and watching my tone is responding.

It’s often better to respond before I react.

Having said that, there are times when a guttural reaction is just what the doctor ordered. In sports, for example, just hit the damn ball. If a child starts to fall off the bridge, grab the kid.

I’m still unraveling the differences between reaction and response. My wife is onto something though, and in relationships, I’d like to respond more.



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