I tried to be cool for twenty years and I think that I actually got close to being cool for a few minutes there (though I’d be the last to know). Now that I’m moving further away from coolness every day, I couldn’t be more content.
When I became a parent, I spent that first year trying to still be “out there” and cool whilst becoming a good parent. I was nearly split in two trying to juggle those opposing goals. I finally gave in and resigned to being the best father and husband I could be (and can be, still working on that).
As a result, I’ve never been more fulfilled. There are days and moments of agony, yes, but on a macro level, my life has more meaning, focus and love than ever before.
The energy I put into love pays back ten fold against showing up for hipster culture.
I’m not out there playing shows at night. I’m getting down on the floor with my daughter and playing, getting silly. I sing children’s songs. I even cry during animated movies sometimes. Nothing cool about that!
Once I finally stopped trying to be hip, all these doors opened up. I can breathe, be vulnerable and throw up this post without fear of judgement. What a relief!
For a while there, I fell into the trap of standing back and criticizing other people who put themselves out there. That sucked.
I may never know if the whole hipster thing is a miserable sham or it just wasn’t for me. Looking back, I was trying to be cool and never quite getting there.
Now I realize that seeking the approval of any group is a dead-end drain, especially if that group makes me feel unwelcome or unloved.
The best part of giving up coolness is I’m getting back to the person I was when I was a kid. Raw, unfiltered, real me. The payoff is the opportunity to get back into childhood enthusiasm full throttle. Laughter, tantrums and love are the pulp of life.
published .
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