“Be ok with the way things are.” Wise words from my wife. They didn’t sink in the first few dozen times. They are sinking in now.
Such a simple concept. Something I struggle with so much. When I’m running late in the morning and I grab my daughter’s milk and it spills everywhere. When I’m awakened in the middle of the night by screaming dogs. When I lose money foolishly.
It’s easy to be pleasant and agreeable when things are going my way. When things go off the rails, that’s when I find out who I really am.
I’d like to be more aware when the shit hits the fan. I’d like to keep a grip on the wheel of peril. At the very least, I’d like to refrain from making bad situations worse. Some strategies:
- Look through the rage for a laugh. If I can get a laugh in the middle of a rage storm, that’s a major score. Whether it’s someone else or me laughing deliriously alone, it takes guts to laugh at my own devil.
- Step back from an argument and see a reasonable person on the other side. “Why would a reasonable, sane person have this point of view?” Can I ask myself that in the middle of a fight?
- Take a pride hit for the greater good. Being right isn’t supreme. Often times, I can be right or make peace. Seldom both. Choose my battles wisely and know when to swallow pride.
I’m not saying I want to ignore my frustrations, bury them or pretend they’re not there. Just the opposite. I want to go head to head, acknowledge them, be aware as soon as they arise. I want to sit with frustration and try to better understand it.
I’ve wasted enough time and health holding onto negative feelings, surrendering my power to the external. I yearn to take responsibility for my reactions, to own them and try to make art with them.
I hereby publicly commit to the pursuit of the Art of Reaction. There are sure to be failures along the way. Next time you see me freak out, please remind me that I wrote this.
published .
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