There is a large wooden room on the first floor of my work building. It’s a beautiful space that goes unused most of the time.
I go down there to meditate in the afternoon. Occasionally, someone will enter the room mid meditation and surprise both of us. They might be wondering, “What’s this guy doing, sitting here with his eyes closed? He’s weird.”
They might not be thinking this at all, but I tend to feel a tinge of insecurity in these moments. I’m secure with my reasons for meditating, mind you, but I’m insecure about how others may perceive me doing it.
Why do I feel embarrassed when I’m caught doing something positive and healthy?
Fear of disapproval is wired into me. It can spring to life when I have the urge to do something good, like meditate or sing. It’s a fear of being perceived as weird, out of place.
We want approval from those around us. This is wired into us, probably due to some valid evolutionary reasons. (Follow the leader, keep with herd and you’re more likely to be loved and survive.)
Fear of disapproval isn’t necessarily bad, but it can hold us back. Not speaking up because we don’t want to upset the status quo, for example, can result in missed opportunities.
What if Gandhi or Rosa Parks had let fear of disapproval keep them silent? I’m just trying to sneak in a little meditation during my workday here!
When we fear disapproval, it’s worth stopping and asking ourselves why.
Are we doing something that we shouldn’t be? Or is it just biology trying to keep us with the herd?
I don’t want fear of disapproval holding me back from awesome things. I’d like to get to know this fear better and keep it from affecting my actions by default.
published .
Next Post : Farewell Sadie
Prev Post : Back Talk Back
All Posts