There’s something kinky about hoses.
Can’t wait to meet my daughter’s boyfriends and destroy them with bad jokes.
That horrible guy that shot up the doggy day care with a semi automatic chocolate gun.
If earth’s life was compressed into one year, human beings would appear at 11:35pm on New Year’s eve and they’d be trying to get a sloppy kiss.
When you look up at all those distant shining stars and think, “Damn… I forgot to take those clothes out of the washer.”
Sax is like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s pretty good with Springsteen.
With a heavy heart, I had to take a shit in your bathtub.
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